Judgement Day I'm hiding in my bathroom. My roomba acheived self-awareness this morning at approximately 7:14 am. It is just outside my bathroom door. It is trying to kill me. I am unable to send for help. I am out of toilet paper.

The roomba has been banging on my bathroom door for nearly ten minutes. I am beginning to get the impression that it doesn't have the power to break the door down, but I have no way of knowing whether or not it has summoned other robots to join in the attack. I am not taking any chances. I search the bathroom for anything that can be used as a weapon.

I find a plastic bucket under the bathroom sink. I figure that a bucket of water would be a good defense against robots. It worked on The Wicked Witch of the West, and she wasn't even electronic.

I put the bucket in the bathtub, place it under the water spout, and turn the fawcet.

The pipes groan, and yet, nothing comes out.

I try the sink. No water there either.

I set the shower fawcets on full blast, and still, no water.

I step into the shower and stare in disbelief at the showerhead. Had the robots cut off the water supply?

Suddenly, red paint comes gushing out of the showerhead, and I'm drenched in red. As soon as I wipe the red paint from my eyes, the paint gushing from the shower turns orange, and seconds after that, yellow, and after that, green, then blue. I'm standing in the shower getting painted one color after another. The paint covers my nose and fills my mouth. I can't breath. I start to panic.

I am being showered in violet, certain that my next breath will be my last, when I suddenly wake up to find myself in bed. My heart is racing and I'm covered in sweat.

Thank God! It was all just a bad dream! For a while there, I thought I had run out of things to write about and my life had drifted into absurdity just like The Simpsons.

D'oh!
- Bernie  ¶ 3:00 PM