Thursday, June 01, 2006
Argh, Soup!
I'm going to make it very brief today because I'm in pain and I just want to lie down on the couch and whimper for a while.
I brown-bagged my lunch today. I brought half a ham and cheese sandwich and a can of tomato soup to work. We have an employee lounge with a table and chairs, a microwave, and a sink. I went in there on my lunch break. A couple of other people were already in there having lunch.
I opened the can of soup, poured it into a bowl that I also brought from home, and mixed in some water. Then I popped it in the microwave to heat it up while I unwrapped the half sandwich from it's cellophane.
Three minutes later, the microwave goes "ding!" I carefully removed the now steaming bowl of soup from the microwave, put in on the table next to my sandwich, and sat down. In retrospect, I guess I should have waited a while for the soup to cool down, but I love tomato soup, and I took out my soup spoon and dug right in. I then filled my mouth with a heaping spoonful of tomato soup that, as it turned out, was just a few degrees Fahrenheit short of molten lava. Several layers of flesh on the tip of my tongue and on the inside of my cheeks were seared off in one quick horrifying second. My eyes bulged out of my head in pain. I plunged half of my half sandwich into my mouth in an attempt to soak up the hot liquid. The pain barely subsided.
I shot up out of my chair, ran to the sink, wrapped my mouth around the spout, and turned on the faucet. Now, can somebody explain to me why there is no standard regarding which side of the spout hot and cold faucets go? At my house, cold is on the right. It's what I'm used to. But no, not at work! At work, hot is on the right. I inadvertantly filled my already burning mouth with scolding hot water! I reeled back from the sink in pain, with tomato soup, hot water, and a half-chewed sandwich flowing from my opened mouth, drenching my chin, neck, and shirt.
The other people eating their lunch were both covering their mouths trying to fight back laughter. Why is it that people find enjoyment in the pain of others? I shot them an angry glare. Then I turned the sink's other faucet, put my hand under the spout to make sure it was cold, then filled my mouth with cold water. The pain subsided, but the damage was done.
I cleaned myself up as best I could using soap and water and some paper towels. I spent the rest of the day working in a shirt that looked like I puked on it while picking bits of dead flesh from the inside of my mouth.
OK, that's it. I gotta lie down now. Maybe I'll have something cold for dinner, like ice cream.
I'm off tomato soup for a while now.
- Bernie ¶ 5:31 PM
I'm going to make it very brief today because I'm in pain and I just want to lie down on the couch and whimper for a while.I brown-bagged my lunch today. I brought half a ham and cheese sandwich and a can of tomato soup to work. We have an employee lounge with a table and chairs, a microwave, and a sink. I went in there on my lunch break. A couple of other people were already in there having lunch.
I opened the can of soup, poured it into a bowl that I also brought from home, and mixed in some water. Then I popped it in the microwave to heat it up while I unwrapped the half sandwich from it's cellophane.
Three minutes later, the microwave goes "ding!" I carefully removed the now steaming bowl of soup from the microwave, put in on the table next to my sandwich, and sat down. In retrospect, I guess I should have waited a while for the soup to cool down, but I love tomato soup, and I took out my soup spoon and dug right in. I then filled my mouth with a heaping spoonful of tomato soup that, as it turned out, was just a few degrees Fahrenheit short of molten lava. Several layers of flesh on the tip of my tongue and on the inside of my cheeks were seared off in one quick horrifying second. My eyes bulged out of my head in pain. I plunged half of my half sandwich into my mouth in an attempt to soak up the hot liquid. The pain barely subsided.
I shot up out of my chair, ran to the sink, wrapped my mouth around the spout, and turned on the faucet. Now, can somebody explain to me why there is no standard regarding which side of the spout hot and cold faucets go? At my house, cold is on the right. It's what I'm used to. But no, not at work! At work, hot is on the right. I inadvertantly filled my already burning mouth with scolding hot water! I reeled back from the sink in pain, with tomato soup, hot water, and a half-chewed sandwich flowing from my opened mouth, drenching my chin, neck, and shirt.
The other people eating their lunch were both covering their mouths trying to fight back laughter. Why is it that people find enjoyment in the pain of others? I shot them an angry glare. Then I turned the sink's other faucet, put my hand under the spout to make sure it was cold, then filled my mouth with cold water. The pain subsided, but the damage was done.
I cleaned myself up as best I could using soap and water and some paper towels. I spent the rest of the day working in a shirt that looked like I puked on it while picking bits of dead flesh from the inside of my mouth.
OK, that's it. I gotta lie down now. Maybe I'll have something cold for dinner, like ice cream.
I'm off tomato soup for a while now.
- Bernie ¶ 5:31 PM
