Epilogue A couple of weeks after Bernie finished his blog, he got the three comic books that he submitted to be graded back from CGC Comics. Although the grading was lower than he had hoped, he did manage to make the grading fee back and then some by selling the comics on eBay. He opened a savings account to save up for some moving money, because he felt it was time that he moved out of his parent's house. He opened the account with a deposit of $110.

It was a start.

Now that he had a feel for how the comic book collecting business worked, Bernie set out to sell the rest of his father's comics. After mentioning his intentions use the comic book money to move out to his father, he was told that Grandpa Michaels had a comic book collection. Bernie was amused to learn that he had come from a long line of nerds. Grandpa Michaels had passed away several years earlier, and his dad stored some of his old possessions in the attic. Bernie's dad thought the comics were stored up there in an old steamer trunk. He told Bernie that he was welcomed to sell the comics to help out his moving fund, if he could find them.

Bernie ventured into the attic and discovered three things. First, he found the source of the beetle infestation. I know what you're thinking, folks. The way Bernie's life usually goes, you're thinking that the beetles were feeding off of his grandfather's old comic collection.

That's exactly what Bernie thought too, but upon further investigation, he was relieved to discover that the beetles had gotten into some packets of old seeds that were stored along with some old gardening tools in a large dusty box. Their food supply was nearly exhausted, which would explain why the beetles were showing up in other parts of the house: they were looking for another source of food.

Bernie located his grandfather's old steamer trunk. Opening the truck, he didn't see any old comics, but he did find some of his grandfather's most cherished possessions. There were some family photo albums, with pictures of his grandparents, his aunt and uncles, and his father as a young boy. He also found his grandfather's old marine uniform from the time he served in the Korean War. There were also several medals that his father had been awarded while in the marines. Bernie knew that his grandfather served in the Korean War, but he had no idea that he was a decorated marine. Bernie was very impressed, and felt a sense of pride in his family that he never felt before. Bernie's grandather may have been a nerd, but he was a hero too. That was Bernie's second discovery. At the bottom of the trunk, Bernie made a third discovery.

There, he found a scratched up old wooden box. The wooden box looked like the kind of box that would be used to store the family silverware. Opening the box, it was as if Bernie were seeing the mysterious glowing contents of the attaché case that John Trivolta opened up in Pulp Fiction.

What he found was not silver, but gold. Pure paper gold.

Bernie's heart raced as he found himself staring at a nearly pristine copy of Action Comics #1, the ultimate holy grail of comic book collecting. Published by DC comics in June of 1938, this was the comic that introduced the world to Superman. But that wasn't all. Below the Action Comics #1 were several other comics. Bernie carefully carried the box downstairs so he could get these comics straight into Mylar bags. Although it was a small collection, it was clear that Grandpa Michaels had wisely preserved some of the comics most coveted by collectors. Among this small stack of comics was Superman #1, Batman #1, Detective Comics #1, Whiz Comics #2, the first Captain Marvel comic, and Detective Comics #27, which introduced the world to Batman. There were seventeen comics in all, each one of them highly collectible issues from the Golden Age of comics.

Despite the age of this collection, they looked like they had never been read, and the box that they were stored in protected them from humidity. The paper had aged a little, very little. The covers were highly reflective, the colors were bright, and the paper was white to off-white.

The collection sold at Sotheby's Auction House for over two million dollars. Bernie gave half of the proceeds from the auction to his parents, and used the other half to buy a house in Lebanon.

Lebanon, New Jersey, that is.

Howie moved in with Bernie. They were joined by Howie's cats who were terrorized on a daily basis by the roomba, much to Bernie's amusement. In time, the cats got over their fear of the roomba, and had a great time chasing it around the house as it vacuumed the carpet.

Before moving out of his parent's house, Bernie threw a party at his place. His new friends' cars were parked from one end of the block to another. He did not invite the neighbors. After he moved out, his parents sold the trailer and moved back into their house.

If this tale sounds like pure fantasy, that's because it is, but why shouldn't it be fantasy? After all, this entire blog has been a work of fiction. There is no Bernie. There is no Howie. There is no Len, no Frank, no Molly, no Charlie, no Curty, no Squeaks, no Derka, no Dustbin, no CrimeScene, no Leon Laponte and no KFE radio. Bernie's parents did not live in a trailer in the yard. Jane Curtin does not hang out in a chatroom with a bunch of computer geeks. It was all fiction.

Where else but in a work of fiction would you find such a ridiculously happy ending?

New Jersey?  ¶ 7:43 PM