The Lawnmower Man Dear Blog:
I had to mow the lawn today for the first time this season. Technically, it's my parents lawn, but I take care of the upkeep. It's the least I can do considering that they let me have the house all to myself at no cost. I checked the gas tank and noticed that it was bone dry. I filled it from a can we had leftover from last year.

The lawnmower worked great, for about five minutes, then the engine siezed and black smoke billowed from the mower. As I soon learned, my dad drains the mower of all it's fluids before every winter, and I forgot to check the oil.

I asked my father what we are going to do. He said, "What do you mean, 'we'? I'm not the dumbass who used it without checking the oil."

So much for my vow to never purchase another thing. I'm off to Home Depot to buy a new mower. Maybe I should get a self-propelled mower so I can run myself over with it.

Ugh,
- Bernie  ¶ 4:56 PM