The Bernie Curse Takes On The Hosers As I told you yesterday, whenever I root for a sports team, they lose. Today was the seventh and final game of the Stanley Cup Final with the Carolina Hurricanes and the Edmonton Oilers looking to capture the Cup. For the sake of the USA, I had decided to use The Bernie Curse to my country's advantage by cheering for the Canadians.

It made me feel a little dirty, but since it was for the good of the ole stars and stripes, I was willing to endure it.

I woke up with Canada on my mind. For breakfast, I had pancakes with Canadian maple syrup. For lunch, I had a can of Canada Dry Ginger Ale with my sandwich. For dinner, I would have even braved a serving of poutine but fortunately for me poutine is impossible to come by in a civilized place like New Jersey. I settled for buffalo wings and fries with gravy which I got from a take out joint on the way home from work. While my dinner may have lacked anything Canadian, the gobs of grease in it seemed appropriate considering I was cheering for a team called the "Oilers."

All my pseudo-Canadian pride paid off. The Edmonton Oilers, the team I was rooting for, lost the Stanley Cup to the Carolina Hurricanes with a final score of 3-1.

What do you know about that, my fellow Americans? I finally did something right.

And to you hosers, all I have to say is, "Sorry, eh?"
- Bernie  ¶ 11:00 PM