I heard something in the news over the weekend that has me completely perplexed. Apparently, Jimmy Buffett, singer and songwriter of such hits as "Margaritaville," will be giving away 85% of his wealth to five charitable foundations, one of which is the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, run by Microsoft chairman - and the world's richest man - Bill Gates and his wife, Melinda.

My first name is Bernie, as in, Bernard. My last name is Michaels, as in, more than one Michael.